If lies make baby Jesus cry then he would not have liked the sight of the scoreboard at 2pm last Saturday afternoon.
The 49-point margin was not an accurate reflection on how keenly fought the match was.
For more than three quarters, the OMs were within touch of St Bernards, who had gone through the first 16 rounds undefeated.
In weather more suited to watching others play football rather than slogging it out in the middle, the OMs served it up to Bernards.
That we were held goalless in the opening half did not matter. Bernards only had four on the board themselves and we were more than holding our own in general play.
For us, it all happened in the third quarter. Two of the Ray boys chipped in with quick goals and suddenly the margin was only two kicks. Game on!
Even the men in white, who we have rarely seen eye to eye with this year, intervened in our favour. The Bernards, perhaps miffed they were being challenged by a team with five wins next to its name, shot off at the lip.
Every word shot out of their mouth seemed to bring us closer to goal.
"Sometimes silence is truly golden," Nick Peters wrote on his Facebook diary after the game. "I didn’t disagree with what they were saying. But I was loving how they chose the field to fight for freedom of speech."
Down by only two goals at the last change, our boys sniffed a major upset. Bernards had been down from the word go. How else could you explain their players lining up at the wrong end of the ground?
"My man kept on following me," Dean Osmond said to Jozza. "I thought I was being tagged. Then they realised they were at the wrong end."
The final quarter ended any hopes we had of an upset. A courageous Konrad Spies kept his head over the ball and copped one for his troubles. The donnybrook that ensued pumped us up but so too Bernards.
They kicked six in a hurry and gone were our hopes.
"I really didn’t want to update the scoreboard," our man in the clouds said. "It didn’t do the boys justice. But I’m a pro. I pledged an oath when I took this job and I have to stay true."
Thanks to Jozza for goal umpiring and Rocket for running out instructions.
ST BERNARDS 2.2-14 4.4-28 4.6-30 10.8-68
OLD MELBURNIANS 0.2-2 0.2-2 2.6-18 2.7-19
Goal Kickers: A. Ray, W. Ray
Best Players: J. Slater, H. Tomlinson, J. Phillips, N. Lawler, A. Ray, S. McNally
