The eTag is a cruel beast. Just as heat can sap the life out of plant, this wretched device seem to suck the energy out of our boys. With every beep as we passed each checkpoint, the intensity and desire within to perform dissipated on the freeway.

By the time we arrived we were like fish out of water. Our boys don’t end up in Essendon unless they’ve taken the wrong turn on the way to the Airport. This could well have been the case again on Saturday as we arrived in holiday mode.

A 20-minute delay to the start of the game allowed us to rest on our laurels even longer. A few stern words and boisterous rumblings in the dressing room as we ran out gave the impression all was well. It proved to be a false dawn.

Kicking against the win did not help, but of more hindrance was our inability to find the pill. We were told it was red and oval shaped. And generally, it was in their hands more than ours.

A scoreless first quarter flattered us. That we only trailed by 16 points was due to Old Essendon’s inability to kick goals. The only pre-game aim we had achieved was to not waste shots at goal. But somehow, not having any shots doesn’t count.

Emboldened by some choice words at quarter-time, we fought out way back into the match. Heath Thompson was presenting well across half-forward, often with more than one opponent hanging off him, and competing honestly. Our midfielders got their hands on the ball and it was game on.

Down by only four points at half time, we were certainly in the game.

But that was all she wrote. Despite our season being on the line, we were back in holiday mode. Our third quarter was abysmal. We played like we would rather be on a beach in Noosa in September than playing for glory at Elsternwick Park.

Before Carts even had time put his whiteboard down, OE had stretched their lead. If we had fired a shot nobody had seen it.

It wasn’t until the final term, perhaps to avoid total embarrassment, that we showed anywhere near our ability.

We won the ball, ran with it, tackled hard and created chances. We even got within four goals with enough time for a miracle to occur. In the end, the only miracle was how we did not lose by more.

Thanks to Jozza for goal umpiring, Matty and his mate Matty for running water and Rocket for boundary umpiring.

OLD ESSENDON 2.4-16 2.6-18 7.12-54 10.14-74
OLD MELBURNIANS 0.0-0 2.0-12 3.0-18 6.2-38
Goal Kickers: H. Thompson 2, A. Ray, M. Wright, P. Kennon, K. Spies
Best Players: J. Ray, M. Picken, D. Osmond, S. Parsons, P. Kennon, H. Thompson