:: Reserves Report - By ‘The Red Leg’.
Police are seeking a masked bandit who robbed the OMs Magoos of four points on Saturday.

The assailant cannot be identified for security reasons but the loot was last seen heading southwards along the Nepean Highway.

The incident occurred on the early hours of Saturday afternoon when St Bedes kicked the last three goals of the game to down a gallant OMs by five points.

The most brazen theft took place seconds before the final siren when Cheesecake had a mark fleeced by a persuasive defender behind him.

"I’ve never felt so violated," Cheesecake wept to detectives in the changerooms as he contemplated being denied the opportunity to kick the winning goal after the siren. "Now I now how it feels when all those girls I meet on Saturday night leave because their house has just been burgled."

For much of the day, the OMs controlled play against the competition’s top team. Only two lapses at the end of the second and fourth quarters denied the team what would have been a rousing victory and an even more stirring rendition of the club song.

St Bedes kicked three goals in a hurry in the second quarter, then the last three of the game, the last of which came with less than two minutes left on the clock.

The highlight of the day was our second quarter when we kicked four unanswered goals.

Cheesecake was dominant in the forward line with five goals in a performance worthy of a cape, as was the phantom Anthony Voyage, who has now kicked more goals than he has had training sessions.

"It’s not my fault my busking course only has night classes," Ant says to the coaches every Friday night when he has to justify why he should be given a game. "But I promise I will never busk in front of the canteen at the Junction on a Saturday."

A virgin ruckman, Scotty Fletcher tried valiantly against bigger opponents.

"Um, ahh, um, yeah," a starstruck Fletch replied when asked his first question by the elusive Red Leg. "Yeah. You know, I’m a ruckman. Don’t I have to sound dumb?"

Unfortunately, the side’s best performance of the year did not yield four points and saw us knocked out of the four.

There are two weeks left in the season to atone. Next week we play second-placed Uni Blacks before a final-round clash with Ajax. Should we win those two and Marcellin lose one, then a finals spot is likely to be ours.

Thanks to Jozza for his goal umpiring, Oscar Jenkins for running the boundary, Matty Lovejoy and his buddy for running water and Hoppy for being our runner.

Tags: A. Pannifex, C. Wilmoth, G. Tsiotras, M. Prowse, S. Fletcher, St Bedes/Mentone, T. Horne