:: Reserves Report - By ‘The Red Leg’.

To butcher a classic ACDC number, “it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll”, but the OMs 2s were trying to find short cuts on Saturday.

Pitted against a Melbourne High side which, on paper, we were expected to beat comfortably, the OMs did not afford their opposition the respect they deserved. At least, that’s what we were told in no uncertain terms at half-time.

While the scoreboard had us comfortably up at half-time, the powers that be were not pleased with our effort.

“I was already in a filthy mood because my thing in the first at Sandown ran like a cat, then I saw the boys play like they hadn’t been fed since Phar Lap was stuffed,” our runner Erwin was heard by surveillance telling his bookie.

“I was the same,” Reverend Lovejoy said after he grabbed the phone off Erwin. “But twice as angry. Firstly because I followed Erwin’s tip in the first, then had it in a multi with us to win.”

We responded in the third quarter, and had we kicked accurately we could have been more than 67 points up.

It didn’t help that Cheesecake decided to touch what would have been a certain goal to two-thirds of the chipmunks - Simon Theodore.

“What can I say Simon? I didn’t realise it was about to go through. I swear,” Cheesey cowered as Theo approached him menacingly after the game wearing nothing but a towel which struggled to go all the way around his prodigious waist. “You can take all my Airport fares if you don’t believe me.”

To be fair to the Cake, he played quite some game alongside Red Bull Horne, who bagged six off a pre-season of cocktails and spirits in the Greek Islands.

“Not bad eh?,” Timmy emailed his mates in Europe. “I told you I was prolific on the field as well.”

The margin blew out into the 90s midway through the last quarter, however, to MHSOB’s credit, they fought the game out and denied us a 100-point win. Though, to be honest, our appalling kicking for goal was also to blame.

“Sorry. My kick was just as bad as my staging,” Super Snoop Ed Selby apologised to Lurch. “I didn’t mean for the ball to knock the hot dog out of your hand and stain your white shirt with tomato and mustard stains.”

Thanks to Jozza for goal umpiring, Conny for running the boundary line and skipper Jenks for putting up his injured arm and patrolling the interchange.

Tags: A. Ray, A. Wu, G. Tsiotras, M. Wright, MHSOB, S. Galbraith, T. Horne