:: Seniors Report - By Lurch.
It was apparently the first time St. Bedes/Mentone had played the OMs in the VAFA, and their fans were out in force. The OMs packed their swags, compasses, cut lunches, and fitted extra fuel tanks to their cars for the trek to Mentone Reserve, with many a Melway being consulted.

A magnifying glass might have been handy too, in order to find the ground – and not just in the Melway either. The oddly-shaped postage-sized ground was harder than the salubrious concrete thoughtfully laid out for the spectators, and would have benefited from a bucket of water or two. The first VAFA meeting of these two clubs proved to be a rough, tough and unhappy football lesson for the Old Melburnians, who were defeated by 137 points.

Former OM club legend Simon Theodore saw that the OMs could use his presence and gifted boot, and made a return to the club to kick two first quarter goals. Despite this promising start, that was the end of his scoreboard contribution, and he was the only multiple goal scorer for the OMs in a game in which goals were very few and extremely far between. The Dark Blues had the benefit of the wind in the first quarter, but did not utilise it fully, whilst the Tigers, kicking against the wind, won the first quarter. It was not a good sign, but gave no hint of what was to come.

The second quarter was a nightmare. It was a 78 point quarter for the Tigers. Only the scoreboard showed what was actually happening, as it was impossible to comprehend what was before our eyes. James Beaumont, on leave from foreign service, wondered what he had got himself into, and wondered why he hadn’t opted for a day at the pub instead. He managed to score the OMs’ only goal for the quarter, and his efforts throughout the game were one of the few positives for the Dark Blues.

At halftime the call from coach Fly was “Heads up” as a dejected OM outfit entered the change rooms. Only the most optimistic supporter could fail to see that the game was lost. Fly called upon the boys to fly the Dark Blue flag, and give their all in the third quarter. Hamish Turner did fly the Dark Blue flag, just as Tom “Benno” Bennison did - in a way - by getting away with wearing his MGS footy shorts. Turner burrowed under a pack in the opening minutes of the third quarter, and was rewarded with a shot at goal, from which he scored truly. He was in the thick of the play for most of the day, and led by example. Unfortunately his best efforts were but a wee into the wind of the Tiger’s tsunami.

Captain Barclay Dixon was furiously punching the ball from behind, and also managed to score a captain’s goal in the third quarter. Ed Mitchell, at his favoured end of the ground, also scored a goal in the third quarter, and that was it for the day for OM goals. Whilst the Tigers scored five goals for the quarter, it was but a fraction of their 78 point second quarter, and the defence of Ben McKie and his fellow embattled defenders was partly responsible for this diminution in scoring.

Also instrumental were angry young men Will “Shep” Panton and Konrad Spies, supported by the likes of Pete Kennon and Chris Righetti, who fought hard to keep the ball away from the Tiger’s scoring end. Shep was in his element, with melees aplenty on offer. Josh Russo tried hard all day, but his efforts were largely unrewarded. Scotty Kennon was in the thick of the action for much of the day too, and did his best for the Dark Blue. He also was in competition with the Tiger’s No. 22 for the title of “Worst Hairdo on Field”, as judged by Cecil, of Cecil’s Salon on Toorak Road. Cecil concluded that whilst No. 22’s was longer, Scotty’s was weirder, and he was adjudged the winner.

The last quarter saw the Tigers score seven goals to the OMs’ two points. The only glimmer of hope was a “Daicos” attempt at goal by Benno that almost came off. Luck, however, refused to go the OMs’ way. Most frustrating was the fact that the OMs had most of the play in the second half, but failed to get close enough to goal to score, whereas the Tigers just had to get down their end (which happened all-too-quickly) to almost guarantee a goal. This failure was due to the Tigers’ superior ability more than to a lack of trying by the OMs. The game had been fought at a frantic pace, and only in the last quarter did this slow to a dull roar. The final siren could not blow soon enough.

The Tigers are now on top of the ladder. They were bigger, faster, and more skilful, and Tiger Ben Phibbs alone kicked 10 goals straight. In packs their decision-making was fast and clever, with every conceivable option seemingly being assessed in milliseconds, and the best decision being made and put immediately into effect. They won in every department. At full strength the OMs would, at best, be much more competitive, but whether a 137 point defeat could be turned into victory is less certain. Coach Fly said that the Tigers were “a class above” the OMs, but he was wrong. Sniping, elbowing, and dropping knees into the backs and heads of fallen opponents is not class. An unbiased observer could only leave the ground with one conclusion: that whilst the Tigers won, only the boys in Dark Blue deserved respect for the way they went about playing the game.

OLD MELBURNIANS - 6.9.45  

Goals: Simon Theodore (2), Barclay Dixon (1), Hamish Turner (1), James Beaumont (1), Ed Mitchell (1).

Best: Hamish Turner, Scotty Kennon, Will Panton, Josh Russo, James Beaumont, Konrad Spies

Tags: Hamish Turner, James Beaumont, Josh Russo, Konrad Spies, Scotty Kennon, St Bedes/Mentone, Will Panton